How to Disarm Your Partner’s Defensiveness

Defensiveness in RelationshipHow To Disarm Your Partner’s Defensiveness

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN…

  • What causes your partner to get Defensive
  • Specific things you can do to respond

EPISODE TAKEAWAYS

The “Dog  House” – Why Your Partner Gets Defensive

  • Instinctual response to feeling attacked
  • Poor role models for communication
  • Past injuries/insecurities “Raw Spots”

The FIX – How to Disarm Your Partner’s Defensivness

1. Examine Your Part/Approach

  • Avoid blaming language: “You…”
  • Don’t take on the victim role
  • Refrain from using global statements, “Always” or “Never”
  • If feeling attacked don’t surrender, withdrawal or attack back

2. Understand Your Partner’s Sensitivities

  • Be curious: Ask about where the reaction is coming from
  • Don’t take it personal – leads to being less reactive

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

5 Tips for Better Communication – Jennifer Chappell Marsh, LMFT

3 Ways To Stop Being Defensive – Jennine Estes, LMFT

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